I didn't think I would ever come back here. But then I realized that this is the only place I've said all the sappy things I can't say in real life. And yes, of course this is about him. Who else would get me back here? I thought you guys know me like family by now. 

Did I ever think that I would be watching his final match thousands of miles away, online and on a 13 inch laptop? Did I ever think I would be sitting alone in my room wondering what exactly I'm doing here? Did I ever think I wouldn't be at home when India finally brought home the World Cup? Honestly though, did I ever actually think I will watch him play for the last time ever? No. I didn't. I never thought this through. I thought I'd be dead by then. Clearly I don't have the decency to do that. 

I really don't know what to say. As usual, I'm just saying a lot of things but not really saying anything. If I could silently cry and have the keyboard type that out, it would be ideal. But then, nothing about this is ideal. 

------

He just walloped that one into the boundary now. Not out at 71. It is amazing - absolutely amazing when I pause and think that he has been playing for as long as I have been alive. That I have known him for longer than I have known my own brother. Watching him at the crease now is like reliving my entire life. The cuts, the flicks, the drives... the straight drive. I think that's the image I will keep with me forever. His straight drive. 

------

Out. 74. c Darren Sammy b Narsingh Deonarine. It's all over. Should he have tried to hook that one? Who knows? Screw you for being so selfish. Screw you for wanting that century - you want that for yourself. Screw you. Screw everything.

Love Me Again

So the biggest thing that keeps me from coming back here is the feeling of abandonment. 
The absolute dong of certainty that everybody who knew and loved me here has left the building and is never coming back to drink my imaginary booze again. 
And you guys KNOW how needy and whiny I am. 
If I start blogging here again will you promise to love me the way you always did? 

I should blog more, no?

There's been a lapse in the server connection between my mind-blogger and web-blogger.

I'm trying to re-establish the connection.

Meanwhile, I'd like to distract you with this brilliant gem I found somewhere on Facebook -

Happy Birthday Shwetu

I'm sorry, I can't tell you how much.

I'm so late, that you might hate me forever.

I really meant to call, but I was embarrassed and so mad at myself that I couldn't think of a grand enough gesture to make it up to you.

I don't have many friends really, I can't afford to lose the few I have.

Shwetu, I love you, I'm sorry. You'll come here, we'll meet and everything will be fine. 

Hope this year and all the years turn out to be amazing and magical.

Nitwit Oddment Blubber Tweak

PS: Maggie,traitorous worm, just you wait.

Oh My God.

A Red Pulse

DISCLAIMER: Personal opinion. Take it or leave it.

There is a certain power in being alone. A calm that enables you in handling situations that will perhaps never come if you are dependent on somebody. A quiet development of inner strength that will slowly decay the moment you surrender to the giddy delight of enjoying somebody else's company a bit too much. If you are alone, you can deflect pain to the maximum extent possible because only those who are close enough hold the power to hurt you. Don't let anybody step inside that inner sanctum from where pain is the only thing that is pulsating. 

No, this isn't a bitter rant, rather something that I believe in and the only philosophy that I can place my trust in. I don't see any sense in letting yourself willingly falling prey to that demon that is best kept at bay. I'm not saying love doesn't exist. It does. Not for everyone though. And that is the truth. Don't fool yourselves otherwise. 

PS: I'm sorry for being so harsh. 


PPS: Happy Valentines Day!

The Force

I'm 22 years old. So it is quite unreasonable to expect me to be unaffected by the arrival of a new pimple on the calm environs of my cheek. Stuff like this shouldn't be happening anymore. I'm out of that cursed age-zone for gods sakes!! So you would, of course forgive me for being violently angry and moody for the rest of the week.

In other news, this week was Superbowl week. Now, as my brother was trying to insinuate, I'm not turning into an American (although American football is sufficiently violent to engage me); my interest in this mega-event was the commercials. An unsaid piece of homework assignment, which I gladly did.

My vote goes to:



The tiny Darth Vader (which I think is a girl btw) was the most darling thing on television that night. This commercial as heavily advertised virally with a 1 minute version hitting the internet a week before Superbowl and garnering more than 14 million hits. Then, the same commercial aired during the game with a 30 second spot. Very smart.

Another commercial worth checking out:



A 2 minute long advertising spot during Superbowl. Daimler Chrysler shelled out heavy and have gained a very favorable response in-turn. Brilliant ad, featuring Eminem, with a Detroit-nostalgia thing about it.

Other ads I liked: Doritos, Sleepys and NFL

Oh, by the way, the Packers crushed the Steelers.