Jul 10, 2008

PHAT!!

OK, a lot has to be said about the notion that fat people are not popular. Look at me. No, forget about me. I would rather that nobody looked at me right now. I mean Lays Classic Salted does not add much to my style statement.

And what about fat people being jolly?i mean, jolly? Fat people hate themselves for being fat, hate their parents for somehow making them fat, hate their best friends for being thin, hate almost about everybody apart from the man downstairs in bed with syphillis. And they are JOLLY? I think not.

Then there's also this thing about fat people being ugly. I mean that's outrageous! Fine, you have muffin rolls the size of baby whale blubbers over your jeans, you cant get up without grunting like a pig, you don't shave your ample body hair(and facial hair) coz nobody is going to ask you out anyway, and that makes you ugly?! HUH?!

FYI, all the fat people WILL get married. They will find lovely, balding, middle aged, mirror-image counterparts and settle down by mid-forties. They will also proceed to produce peachy, pumpkiny, pork pie-ish progeny(s) and spend romantic candle-lit dinners all night long.

PS: I am not fat. I am homely.
PPS: I think the whole jolly thing originated due to that guy Santa Claus. but not all fat people have beards, do they?
PPPS: Currant-bun cheeks are not ugly.

My brother just called me mean.
WHY??

3 comments:

Sharanya said...

Suchi, shut up. Eat all the current buns you want, love. You are NOT fat. And even if we consider the metaphysical possibilty that you are, they're smart, intelligent and pretty. Fat Indians are NEVER ugly. Trust me.

BElla is fat! Look at the trailers!

Shweta said...

@sharan: vernon dursley is fat.

Just saying ,that's all, no point being put forward here.

And suchi, why lays classic salted?! Try the toblerone white chocolate.
Ooh.

Blue~Flame said...

mag, thou art conspicuous by thy absence.
shwetu have i spelt conspicuous right?
sharan i love you more, every day.