So I come home to find my father strapped with this ambulatory ECG device. He displays it as proudly as a medal/shield. I'm obviously flustered. (I know I'm a cold bitch but he's my father!) I ask the prescribed amount of panicky questions. My fathers looks very pleased - almost as if I've passed a test. Then he calls my mother and reports my concerns to her. They both get very emotional. My mother obviously follows this up with a 'She should be worried! We have given up our entire lives for her!' I become a tad less concerned.
Which brings me to my point. Why are my parents constantly plagued with the fear that I have renounced them completely and am only here because of food and money? OK, while the second part might be somewhat true, the first part is certainly not! They have these completely irrational theories about how I'm just going to ditch them one day,never turn back and how I hate them and am don't even pretend not to. Whcih is so unfair really.
I am a complex human being and have trouble expressing my emotions and feelings. They, being my pro-creators should have a better insight into me by now.
My surgical attachment to my laptop and cellphone is normal for anybody who is my age! Just because I refuse to share every single meal with them doesn't mean I don't love them!
And the fact that I don't really listen to when they speak to has more to do with my age-inappropriate concentration span. Why is that soooo difficult to digest?!
And oh the guilt trips! The audible sighs, the exasperated looks, the teary comments, the weepy phone calls to aunts, this intricate game of guilty and guiltier! They all combine to for this pyramid of guilt where I"m standing on the top looking down at all my misdeeds with growing trepidation.
I know I'm not perfect. If this was the stone age my parents would probably trade me for a pair of bone needles and turmeric to the rival tribe. But then, this is life. You don't choose blood relations, God mashes them up together for a sadistic reason that only he can comprehend. I mean, you know that his ways are mysterious right? So let's leave it at that. We just have to learn to tolerate each other and not resort to criminal activity.
Peace and Understanding are stupid.
Loud music, good headphones and means to distract yourself is the ticket.
\m/
been years. still here, still missing.
4 weeks ago
7 comments:
I realized a couple years ago that my parents aren't who I thought they were. As a kid you look up to them and they're supposed to be the source of justice and leadership in the world and you get used to that sort of awe you have for them. Then, you get older. You still look up to them but start to realize maybe they aren't as wise and respectable as you once thought. Lately I've realized that while they did provide me some good DNA they're still just regular people like everyone else in my life with insecurities, flaws and the need for love.
@Chris: Oh, life's a lesson and all that jazz. This display pic of yours is quite interesting
Hey, you ll love it when it you leave home.
Trust me they don't know what they've got till its gone. however, i must warn you - Its true for both sides.
@Himan: I bow to the wise.
:)Awesome post!You can take some solace in the fact that it's the same story with all of us:)Ha ha!Hilarious :D
My mom feels the same way about me. She takes every thing I do personally. It's weird.
Oh, its not. They have been built that way.
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