So I come home to find my father strapped with this ambulatory ECG device. He displays it as proudly as a medal/shield. I'm obviously flustered. (I know I'm a cold bitch but he's my father!) I ask the prescribed amount of panicky questions. My fathers looks very pleased - almost as if I've passed a test. Then he calls my mother and reports my concerns to her. They both get very emotional. My mother obviously follows this up with a 'She should be worried! We have given up our entire lives for her!' I become a tad less concerned.
Which brings me to my point. Why are my parents constantly plagued with the fear that I have renounced them completely and am only here because of food and money? OK, while the second part might be somewhat true, the first part is certainly not! They have these completely irrational theories about how I'm just going to ditch them one day,never turn back and how I hate them and am don't even pretend not to. Whcih is so unfair really.
I am a complex human being and have trouble expressing my emotions and feelings. They, being my pro-creators should have a better insight into me by now.
My surgical attachment to my laptop and cellphone is normal for anybody who is my age! Just because I refuse to share every single meal with them doesn't mean I don't love them!
And the fact that I don't really listen to when they speak to has more to do with my age-inappropriate concentration span. Why is that soooo difficult to digest?!
And oh the guilt trips! The audible sighs, the exasperated looks, the teary comments, the weepy phone calls to aunts, this intricate game of guilty and guiltier! They all combine to for this pyramid of guilt where I"m standing on the top looking down at all my misdeeds with growing trepidation.
I know I'm not perfect. If this was the stone age my parents would probably trade me for a pair of bone needles and turmeric to the rival tribe. But then, this is life. You don't choose blood relations, God mashes them up together for a sadistic reason that only he can comprehend. I mean, you know that his ways are mysterious right? So let's leave it at that. We just have to learn to tolerate each other and not resort to criminal activity.
Peace and Understanding are stupid.
Loud music, good headphones and means to distract yourself is the ticket.
The Identity of Indiscernibles
2 months ago