Feb 16, 2010

Theory Encore: Vaccine for Pregnancy

You know what would make the world a better place?
A Vaccine for Pregnancy.
No seriously, I think we should just admit it, and say it out loud - that it's a disease!! Alright? An Illness.

And, yeah, I know about Contraceptives and IUD's so don't go all smart-alecky on me. I mean, a permanent solution. For the entire mankind. So that the entire species can enjoy a good, peaceful and optimized 70 years or so.

Stupid Scientists, do not waste your organizations' money on futile experiments anymore. Eradicate the root, Eradicate babies. Stop wasting time over Cancer and make a effing vaccine for this plague already!

I know babies are cute and furry and make funny noises.
But they also make a lot of poo.
And then:
  1. They grow up
  2. They learn how to smoke and kill fellow babies
  3. They learn how to use a gun and blow religious, educational and confectionery institutions up
  4. They learn the 'difference' between a Hindu and a Muslim, a Christian and a Jew
  5. They learn to use Social Media and then proceed to waste their parents' hard earned money
  6. They learn about carnal activities and create more babies (Epidemic I tell you)

See, it's simple. 
When you know you don't have to worry about your future babies and grand-babies, you can  stop busting your arse over stupid academics and actually breathe. You can study what you like and not worry about feeding ten toddlers.
When you know that there won't exist a world after 70 years or so, you won't want to kill all infidels because they are going to die anyway. It's a moot point. You might as well get wasted and enjoy the pathetic excuse for a life you have. Or what's remaining of it.
When you know you don't have to save so that your kid can go to University, you can finally treat yourself to that Gucci handbag you wanted for years. 
And if I had the time or the concentration span of the mature adult my age indicates I would probably give a dozen more instances.

I rest my case.

YES, I'm deranged.  So what you gonna do? Shoot me?!


Jie Hua said...

Your gucci handbag won't change you when your >80 and shit yourself. Besides, babies are tax cuts, a selfish way to validate your poor self esteem, and (most importantly) without the need for babies we would also lose sex. I'm fighting for fucking, give babies a chance ;)

Blue~Flame said...

No!! Gucci will remind you of your younger, perkier days!
And babies are a big reason that put people off sex! All the tension and abortions! Why commit the crime?! Ugh!

Btw, Hey!

Dharini said...

i'm totally with u suchi :)
babies are ceratinly a plague..
why my parents had me in the first place is a big mystery..

Christopher said...

Ha, this is hilarious. I say we give it a shot, couldn't see how it could possibly go wrong.

Blue~Flame said...

@Dee: Good, I need support for for my motion to pass. Also, your parents had u bcz of ASU. That's why! :) Congratulations child!

@Chris: Exactly! I wish the world were filled with more disgruntled and vacuum people. Just like you and me.

Himanshu said...

I think there's a movie based on your concept. Children of Men i think.
I am all up for anything which brings an end to this pathetic world that we have right now. Wonderful concept you got here.

godrick said...


May be you all are right. But believe me the day when you guys will get married and spend 2 3 4 years.. you guys will come to know that the post is admirable and should be implemented or these things only sounds good.

Blue~Flame said...

@Himan: Somebody stole my idea?!! Waaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

@Godrick: Oh don't be such a grand daddy

Vimal said...

I think you should be made vice-president of the world.

Blue~Flame said...

@V: Isn't it. We must speak to
God about it.

Vimal said...

if you have to be made the VP, the only person you have to speak to would be the president.

and ...er.. that would be me.