I didn't think I would ever come back here. But then I realized that this is the only place I've said all the sappy things I can't say in real life. And yes, of course this is about him. Who else would get me back here? I thought you guys know me like family by now. 

Did I ever think that I would be watching his final match thousands of miles away, online and on a 13 inch laptop? Did I ever think I would be sitting alone in my room wondering what exactly I'm doing here? Did I ever think I wouldn't be at home when India finally brought home the World Cup? Honestly though, did I ever actually think I will watch him play for the last time ever? No. I didn't. I never thought this through. I thought I'd be dead by then. Clearly I don't have the decency to do that. 

I really don't know what to say. As usual, I'm just saying a lot of things but not really saying anything. If I could silently cry and have the keyboard type that out, it would be ideal. But then, nothing about this is ideal. 

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He just walloped that one into the boundary now. Not out at 71. It is amazing - absolutely amazing when I pause and think that he has been playing for as long as I have been alive. That I have known him for longer than I have known my own brother. Watching him at the crease now is like reliving my entire life. The cuts, the flicks, the drives... the straight drive. I think that's the image I will keep with me forever. His straight drive. 

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Out. 74. c Darren Sammy b Narsingh Deonarine. It's all over. Should he have tried to hook that one? Who knows? Screw you for being so selfish. Screw you for wanting that century - you want that for yourself. Screw you. Screw everything.