So anyway, I commented to this post and then said to myself 'Hey Suchi! This needn't be just a comment, you can post about it!' Then I clapped my hands and posted about it.
Remember how you squatted at that big, ugly cockroach and thought that this is the end of story. Oh boy, you were so wrong. It just pretends to lie there and twitch like Michael Jackson's roachy version but in reality it's just waiting for you to turn your back and then it flits through some impossibly narrow spaces into dark corners you never even knew existed.
They have been around forever. They escaped so many catastrophes that some tribes worship cockroaches in the form of God.
My theory is that - wait for it - cockroaches killed dinosaurs. You know how scientists are coming up with weird ass explanations as to why these gigantic, ugly creatures disappeared? They are missing (as usual) the most simple explanation of all. Cockroaches killed them. They literally are the only creatures who were present then and are still there now. How the hell did they escape whatever catastrophe that had happened? Simple, nothing happened. It's just an elaborate plan. While the answer was eating holes into their underwear scientists were draining the global economy and coming up with Avatar-like stories to cover up their incompetence.
Note: I think that NASA and FBI should merge. What do you think?
A related theory is: cockroaches are immortal. Yes, they never die. They are like vampires, but the ones you wouldn't want to make out with. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the cockroach which wiped T-Rex off the face of this earth is hiding right now in my bathroom. Behind the sink. I had spotted some strange decorative markings on his antennae. I wish I could just capture it and give it to NASA, but I'm pretty sure that then they would shriek like little girls and break a lot of expensive equipment so I let it be.
Wait, now I'm freaking out!
Guys, I think Roach Anti T Rex is on to me. He knows that I know what they know that nobody knows. The real truth. So if something happens to me, you know where to find him